wall_flower9

I made it through finals. As usual it didnt feel like it would, but it was moreso this time. I had to come up with, create, layout, print, and bind my own mini comic for Intro to sequential. I ended up being fairly happy with it, I just wish we had had more time to work on it because I think there are things in it that could be improved. I also had to have 300 gestures, 5 skull drawings and 5 small self portraits due before finals, and then for my actual final in life drawing, I had to do a large self portrait.
I really struggled in life drawing because I have never ever learned anything about drawing people ever. So it was a pretty intense challenge. My professor was also not an easy grader- as he shouldnt have been but it made for a very anxious time when it came to grading.
My parents told me if I get a C in any class, I am going to have to pay for an entire quarter. That apparently means traveling expenses as well if I come home (for spring break, for example).
As far as I know, I have a 79.3 in life drawing. We are waiting until official grades come out in case anything changes. If it doesnt, well, not only will I be really upset but I will have to pay for next quarter. Fuck.
My other class was speech, and were I not a nervous idiot, I couldve brought my grade up to an A from a high B. However, I forgot to introduce my last speech and so I lost 10 points cause I said it at the end after I remembered and therefore it was half off. So yeah. I will probably end up with 2 Bs and a C, which I am REALLY unhappy about. I had a tough quarter academically, and it definitely shows despite all the hard work that I did. My grades arent due to a lack of effort.
Its just difficult to deal with when you know when you have worked really hard and actually learned a lot, but it feels like it almost doesnt count because your grades dont reflect it. When really, I should be way more focused on the fact that I improved a lot this quarter, according to professors/peers.
---
In other news, I had a job interview today at Kohl's is hooksett and it went very well. Joseph told me that I basically have the job, there are just some formalities to go through. So thats good news, and as far as I know Ill be getting my job back at FYE, tho I havent been put on the schedule yet. So I think I should be all set for work this break...*knock on wood*

I have some more to write, but Ill write it later when Im not so tired.
I hope everyone is doing well :)

I figure that, despite having to get up for class at 7am, I should blog a little before I turn 21.
In the big scheme of things, turning 21 isnt too big of a deal when you think about it.
I like to drink socially from time to time, but its not important to me.
So then what is turning 21 about?
Really its just turning another year older. Im officially a "20 something" which is weird. Im still getting used to being 20!

I dont like to think about getting older too much. It makes me think about other things which upset me and I like to try and keep a positive spin on things- tho it requires quite the effort.
Im 99% certain I wont be drinking on my birthday/in celebration of my birthday anytime soon. All of my friends here are underage and/or straightedge. I respect that and have no problem with it at all but there is that little part of me thats ever so slightly bummed that I wont have your typical 21 years celebration.
Im sure whatever we do to celebrate in our own little way will be very nice, and I look forward to it, and really that means more to me than having a 'regular party'.
In a way it reminds me a little of how far away from home I am and how it would be different.
I feel a lot better tho, than I did earlier. Looks like we'll actually be doing a couple things to celebrate, and someone is making me a cake (although I have to buy the mix and stuff, lol!) But the fact people care and wish me happy birthday really means a lot :)

I hope youre all doing well <3

and thus ends my last entry as a 20 year old...

I should stop caring. I shouldnt care what he says (not Scott). Im tired of doing things to meet other peoples expectations.

Is this girl:


Really that much cuter than this girl?:


Someone put this in perspective for me. Im supposed to be single and free- not tied down to anything or anyone. Not worrying about the things I do and how theyll make someone else feel (to an extent). Why does what he says matter so much?
"I just wont find her as cute anymore. Looks are a whole package. If a componant is off, the whole thing is."
It makes me sad. I cant help it. I dont want it to bother me. I dont want what he thinks to affect my choice.
I should be excited about this. To an extent, I am. He hasnt ruined it for me entirely. That would be absurd. But then theres that little voice that reminds me of what he thinks.
Im sure everyone is tired of hearing about it cause it shouldnt be a big deal, and I know it shouldnt.
I need a new perspective and reassurance.

Im not really looking forward to my birthday on Tues, either.

"some kind of solitude is measured out in you/you think you know me but you havent got a clue/you can talk to me/ you can talk to me/ you cant talk to me/ if youre lonely you can talk to me."

Im somewhat tempted to just become a hermit this week and not go out and see anyone. Just go to work and come home and pack and get ready to go.
I know myself to well to know that there is no way that is gonna happen. *sigh*
It amazes me a little bit just how much I have come to dislike packing. I never really liked it before but now I have a distinct dislike for it. Whatever. It has to be done -_-
---
I had to get my bridge replaced a few weeks ago cause my other one came out. I was able to get it put back in for free (yaaaaaaay) and I told myself I was gonna take even better care of this new one. Cause I tried to take care of my first one and it didnt go so well.
Last night I was eating jollyrancher and I bit down a little on the side where my bridge is. It was a harder bite than I intended and it was a little uncomfortable but I figured it was ok. A few minutes later, I realize some of the tooth from my brige chipped off. So now I have this little jagged part to it and some of it missing. THEY SAID IT WOULD BE JUST ABOUT AS DURABLE AS A NORMAL TOOTH, JUST BE CAREFUL AND DONT EAT ANYTHING REALLY STICKY. Fuck dentistry. Dentures would be way easier at this point. I hate my goddamn teeth. AUGH.
Im not sure if I should say anything to my mom and see if its fixable or if I should just live with it forever. v_v
---
It makes me laugh a LOT when guys complain about how complicated girls are and I mention something about how guys can be just as complicated if not moreso and theyre like "NO. YOU DONT KNOW WHAT YOURE TALKING ABOUT."
...right. Cause I havent had boyfriends AND a girlfriend.
OHWAIT.
At least with girls youre always kinda thinking they may or may not do something crazy. Thats the stereotype. In the back of your head if something happens its not always unexpected so its easier to deal with. Kinda. (but we all know I dont buy into stereotypes so some of this I dont entirely believe in but stick with me)But with guys, they are "supposed" to be straightforward and easy to talk to/deal with.
NOT TRUE. Guys pull the same bullshit as girls. Just about as often. And then while girls will eventually open up and talked about things most of the time...guys will not. And then you have to pull it out of them and then they get mad OR they still dont talk about it.
...I dont know what exactly prompted this but I was talking about it with a friend earlier and I felt like venting about it.
Bleh.
---
This weekend is Beatles weekend at FYE! Yaaaaaaaaay!! We get to wear jeans and tshirts and listen to Beatles music the whole time :D :D Its quite nice. It actually pretty much made my day. The Beatles tend to do that.

A friend of mine bought me pink skinny jeans.
I never thought Id wear skinny jeans.
And they dont look AS bad as I thought they would.

The thought also ocurred to me that a fauxhawk is not an intimate haircut. I know that sounds funny but my hair has to be all stiff in order for it to be done right as far as I know-- but Im finding I kinda dont care. ><

AND AND AND-- a friend of mine might be able to make a Yui cosplay for me by AWA!! yes!!! *pumped*

I have one Saturday left at home.
At the start of the summer I didnt think that Id be saying that ever!! It seemed so far away...
and now Im not entirely sure what to bring with me to school. ><;; I guess Ill figure it out.
My mom is gonna be leaving to go to some meeting early tomorrow morning...so Im going to be stranded at home with no car all day. Same goes for Thursday. Laaaaaaaaaaaaaame.
But as far as I know Chris and I are hanging out tomorrow and I get to see Ariel and Lindsay on Thursday so it should be ok.
Hopefully I can get some more artwork done tomorrow, also. :D
---
Awhile ago, I was talking to a friend of mine from school about cutting my hair really short again- and he said I shouldnt do it because I wont be as cute if my hair is that short.
Also, he doesnt like 'butch girls'.
This bothered me a lot. And while I was thinking about cutting my hair again- his words came back to me. I dont think at the time I realized how much they bothered me. And really, they shouldnt have. If he doesnt think Ill be as cute- fine. If my hair being short is gonna change his opinion of me...then he never really liked me in the first place. He just liked who he thought I was. And really, if he cant accept all the different aspects of me then maybe I dont want to spend much time with him. (I try really hard to stay away from self loathing and self indulgence but sometimes I feel like that happens a lot- I present myself in a way that shows who I am in many ways, and people really like what they see, and then they learn more and who I am is what drives them away. Its a horrible thought and most of the time Im good at keeping it at bay and realizing how silly it is...but on nights like tonight where Im really melancholy is hard to stop it. *SIGH* Its stupid.)
Its just hard to stay in the frame of mind that I need to do what I want to do regardless of what others say sometimes. I know its right and I feel good about it...but, I have--like I think most people do--this need to please people and make them happy. Im pretty good about doing whats best for me most of the time but its still something I struggle with.
Ive decided that at some point this year (after AWA is over so I can still do cosplays I might do) Im going to have my mohawk again. Its just something that needs to happen. :)
If that friend or anyone else doesnt like it...they can screw off.

This had actually been bothering me so much that the newest art Ive been working on is a comic about how people have a strange opposition to girls with short hair. Its been fun working on it.
As Alix Olson said: "and since when is my body hair something to judge? Is furry a male privalege? Or a patriarcle plot by gilette..."
Haha, I may have also mentioned this in another entry but awhile ago I was complaining to my mom about how I *had* to shave my legs T.T
"This is one of those really annoying things about being female. Its all, 'shave your armpits! shave your legs! dont cut your hair!..............!!!'"
...
absurd. XD
Other than all of this- I have been doing fairly well.... but getting it all out is very theraputic.

Also, i decorated my phone with sparkles today!! yay!
Hope everyone is doing well <3

SPX UPDATE!!
I didnt expect to have an update on this...but I was getting a little desperate and I went and talked to my mom about it. "I know Im already going to a convention that month but Erika Moen is gonna be there and its focused on comics and stuff- so its really relevant to what Im studying and I was wondering if you could help me out somehow with getting there. I have a place to stay cause a friend offered to let me stay at her dorm and so if you cant I understand but I thought Id ask."
Turns out, my grandmother's birthday party is that weekend.
She lives in Maryland.
Thats where SPX is. And its about an hour away.
FTW!!
She asked if that meant I could go to my grandmothers party and I was like 'yeah, more than likely'
Apparently she had brought this up to me before (which I dont remember ><;;) and I had said something about how I was concerned that I might have too much work or something. I guess I was stressed out when I said that XD
So she said Id probably be able to go on Sunday if I went to the party on Saturday.
*dies* Awesomenes. Im trying not to get my hopes up too high but this is looking very doable. SQUEE!

Summer continues to be very good (finally) Ive been seeing alot of people, like Thursday night I left to head up north and see my friend Dylan for a few days and I just got back today. It was fun ^^
The one and only downside to all the fun Ive been having and seeing all of these people is that I havent been getting a whole lot of sleep ><;;
Oh well. Its been worth it :D

I leave NH on the 5th with Jordan to go visit a friend of our's in Louisiana-- and I know its coming up really soon but Ive been waiting for it for so long I feel like i have all the time in the world. The feeling of needing to pack and stuff hasnt quite set in yet and I kinda wish it would hahaha... OTL

Hope everyone is doing well <3

So...I got laid off from Verizon v_v *sigh* the district manager called the store on like, the 12th or something and was like "By the way, we dont have it in the budget anymore to have a greeter."
I guess its good that at least it wasnt cause I did something wrong or whatever...and I know they were really upset to have to let me go, but the DM is a clueless douchebag who doesnt actually care whats in the stores best interest -_-. At least I only have a few weeks left here.
And then I go back to school
o0
Its kinda surreal. I spent so long wishing summer would just be over and now its finally coming to a close...and AS its coming to a close, my summer is getting WAY better. >< Funny how that works, yeah?
Actually like, ever since I got laid off life has been really good (aside from not making much money which is just bad news. D: )
I have a really busy week ahead of me and Im really looking forward to it!!! :D :D
---
Ive been thinking a lot about my image and what I want to change about it.
This isnt particularly new, because I generally contemplate my look and if Im happy with it or not.
Before the end of this school year, Id really like to do this again:


I miss it. A LOT. And I really liked how it looked. My only vague concern is that Im aware of the fact my face has aged (and no, i DONT mean I look old. But faces age, its what they do.) and Im hoping I can still pull it off. My mom thinks I can Im just kinda self concious. But yeah. College is the perfect time to do stuff like this- I feel like I only have a few years left where I can get away with that.

Id also like to do some other things...

Ive been thinking about this for a little over a year now and I still like the idea. I talked to some of my friends who are familiar with piercings and stuff like that and Ive been told itd look good on me. So this is something that may happen this year. :D
And MAYBE this...

Ive been thinking about THIS since I was in high school and I am STILL undecided. -_- Part of me doesnt want to draw attention to my nose, and Im still not sure how itd look...*sigh* I just dont know about that one.
AND-- I am very interested in getting this:

tattooed on me (between my shoulder blades). I have known for quite some time that I want to get a tattoo, but I didnt know what. Now I figured it out. Turtles are my spirit animal and well, the peace sign is pretty obvious, I think. >< hehehe.

So yeah. I have been giving it a lot of thought and this will hopefully happen this year. Ive been waiting a long time to make decisions like this and theyve finally been made. Ive been through a lot of changes, and I know Ill keep going through them...but its time. ^^

I hope everyone is doing well <3

Today I discovered SPX- Small press expo (http://www.spxpo.com)
And I almost wish I hadnt v_v )
One of my most favorite web comic artists, Erika Moen (http://www.darcomic.com) is going to be there, and after reading more about it...I REALLY want to go.
Im already going to AWA- so I know that should be good enough but this looks really cool too...and Im trying to figure out a way to make it happen. Bethesda, MD is 9 hours away from Savannah. Originally I had no idea it was that far so I told a friend of mine from school we should drive there the weekend of the 26th and then I found out how far away it was and got really sad. They suggested flying but I think thatd be silly for a two day event.
I have a friend who lives in MD, and family too...maybe I could visit Maryland for a weekend. HMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM.
I really wanna figure this out! ><;;;;;

I broke up with Scott today.

I dont think Ive ever been quite as sad about anything as I am about this.
Somewhere along the line, I fell out of love with him. I still care about him deeply and he's still one of the closest people to my heart- but something changed.
It was nothing he did and it wasnt him as a person.
I changed somehow.
If it were up to me, my feelings wouldnt have changed and he and I would still be together, perfectly happy like we were before.
I hate change more than just about anything- and it came up and bit me in the ass. I didnt want to fall out of love with him. I thought this was the meant to be deal.
He's such a good person, and he was such a good boyfriend. I feel like there is something wrong with me.
I mean, maybe a couple of years from now after Ive had more of a chance to grow up, we can get back together.
Maybe part of me wasnt ready for the permanance of it all yet. I know theres nothing wrong with that- Im only 20 after all.
oy.
Im dealing with some intense conflicting feelings.
One of them is mourning a huge loss. He and I were together for almost 3 years and we had some really amazing times together. He has helped me through some of the hardest times in my life. He knows me better than almost anyone. Im going to miss him as a person immensely.
Part of me knows that even if there is a time when I want to be with him again, it may not happen. Or we wont be able to be friends comfortably. Im scared of that and I wish that werent the case. I never wanted to fall out of love with him but it wouldnt be fair to just pretend like nothing had changed.
In some ways this has been harder on me than it has been on him. Ive been struggling with not knowing how I have felt for weeks now and even now that I know- worrying about how he is feeling and missing him and missing our connection. I know hes hurt by it but Ive kinda been making myself miserable making sure I was doing the right thing.
I definitely still have some mourning. Im gonna be sad for awhile. I knew this was gonna happen.

Another part of me knows that I am 20, and I need to be single for awhile. There are a lot of things in my life that are changing. When I do date again, I need to take it really slow and NOT do the whole thinking about the future two months into the relationship. I cant think about marriage or anything like that for a long time. It leads to a lot of hurt and its really too soon for me to think about stuff like that. I know for other people its the right time to think about it and everything. Just for me personally, I feel like its not the right time and it wont be for awhile. Especially not after this relationship that I thought was going to go the distance.
I have other things to focus on. If I can date some people and take it slow and have a good time with them then great but not a whole lot more than that.
I may even fall in love again. But I cant even think about that right now.

I guess those feelings dont conflict too much.
Im really depressed, and mourning, and yet I know it was what needed to happen for now. I miss him.
I wish this were easier.
I hate this.

One of the worst feelings in the world is desperately not wanting to do something, but knowing it needs to be done and its the right thing to do.
I dont know how Im gonna do this. :(
---
Ive continued to apply for jobs- and I have my eye on one in particular right now-- cause its seasonal! FTW! Im calling them tomorrow.
Ill also probably be driving out to Wendy's tomorrow........ ;A;
My plan for that is telling them that I work nights at my other job (which usually I do!) and telling them I want to come back as a crew member. NOT a manager. I think thats really why it sucked so hard- you have to do EVERYTHING, the kids are little shits, customers take everything out on you, you have 11 hour shifts (or longer) without a break...maybe working there as a grunt wouldnt be so bad. I already know how to do everything so they wouldnt have to train me. I wonder if thatll work..... v_v

Good news...(why do I feel like writing stuff in my LJ jynxs it??) well...maybe Ill put of writing about this in depth. Just in case. But this would be very good for my family and make life a LOT better. Just know that good things maybe be on the horizon.

I have a lot do do. Or it feels like it anyway.
I need to clean my room really bad, I need to get another job, Id really like to start drawing again (maybe having some art supplies would motivate me... hmmm), Im trying to plan cosplays for AWA, theres some stuff I should do around the house for my mommy (wah),...I dunno. It feels like I have a lot to do. Ick.
Im hoping to accomplish some things tomorrow.

and I hope everyone is doing well <3

Pretty much everything

Woah. Finals.
HERE'S WHAT I HAVE LEFT TO DO!:
+3d project
--finish cutting out pieces
--assemble (HALFWAY DONE)
--prime & paint it
+storyboarding final
--thumbnail script (2/3 done)
--draw final boards
--ink
--copy onto good paper
--tone
+sell back books
+apply for jobs
+decide on what Im taking home
+pack
+clean

So Ive gotten some stuff done...I think its more than it looks like on the list. Or I could just be kidding myself. Who knows.
Im not entirely sure how Im going to fit everything I have to do in just 4 (almost 3) days. I leave Friday afternoon...so...yeah.
*sigh* also, I dont get it. Even when I write long, semi interesting posts like my last one, no one has anything to say '_'
---
Thankfully I got a call yesterday from Friendly's in concord and was asked if I wanted to come in for a job interview! YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! *pumped* I think waitressing will be better than being a manager at Wendy's.
But then there are a lot of things that I think are better than that. I really hope its ok that Ive never been a waitress before. I have lots of experience in customer service and the food industry...so I hope that counts for something. I also hope Id make a good waitress.
---
My art history class officially ended today. It made me really sad. My professor is someone I have really grown to look up to and respect. Im really hoping I can keep in touch with her and that Ill have another opportunity to take another class with her.
Im gonna miss that class.
---
I remember days like these:

I discovered this place called 'Periscope Studio' through the LJ of one of my favorite webcomic artists, Erika Moen (http://www.darcomic.org/)and its in Portland, Oregon. It turns out they have internships there!
They arent paid....but this is the description:
Periscope internships are unpaid and last for three months. If you’re interested in applying, send us an email introducing yourself, and tell us why you’d like to intern here and when you’d be available. (The competition is highest for summer positions.)
What we look for in an intern is someone who is energetic, organized and hard-working, with an eye for drawing and color. Familiarity with Photoshop is a big plus. The job is mostly gruntwork: erasing pencil lines after drawings have been inked, running errands, scanning things, and touching up the scans, laying in flat color in Photoshop. More complicated tasks are given to interns based on their skill, their maturity, their ability to follow instructions and take criticism, and their demonstrated desire to learn. What you bring is what we’ll use.
Again, there’s no pay, so you’ll have to have some way of covering your expenses here in Portland, but we can offer you access to a number of tremendously talented cartoonists and illustrators, exposure to real-world professional practices, and our experience with both the art and the business of comics.

I am SO applying for that next summer. Theres no way i could this summer- it's too late and everything (plus I havent learned photoshop yet) but I absolutely want to apply for it next year! Im really excited :D I could be an intern for Erika Moen... <3 I should look into other places for internships as well.
Looking at internships for a year from now is way more exciting then applying to jobs I would be starting in about a week.
AAAAAAAH. A WEEK!?!
---
I have had so much on my mind lately.
My countdown is at 9 days. I leave the afternoon of the 29th and dont get back home til like, 10pm. D:
Then the next day is prom and theres an after party at Scott's and then the next morning I dont know whats going on and that night Im going to dinner with my parents to celebrate mothers day.
Until then...I have a lot to do:
+3d project
--finish cutting out pieces
--assemble (not looking forward to that at ALL)
--prime & paint it
+storyboarding final
--thumbnail script
--draw final boards
--ink
--copy onto good paper
--tone
+sell back books
+apply for jobs
+decide on what Im taking home
+pack
+clean

*head explodes*

Ive been thinking a lot about...everything. I was telling someone earlier that I feel like 20 is a big milestone, agewise. Ill be 21 in less than 5 months. Where did my freshman year of college go? Are the next 3 years just going to fly by as well? What if I dont get any better at drawing than I am now? Am I going to look back at who I was and what I did during college and think I was a big stupid waste of space? Am I going to have a lot of regrets? DO I have a lot of regrets?
I know SCAD is where I want to be right now...but there isnt a whole lot else Im sure of. Growing up is really different and it changes everything. I wish there was more I was sure of right now. It would certainly help me sleep at night.

Everyone was in bed with lights out before 10pm. It was like, 9:40 when Jordan went to bed.
Im so bored and lonely. AND NOT TIRED.
---
I have a lot to do this weekend. Storyboarding will be most of the work I have to do but then on Sunday Im doing a lot for 3D. Hopefully if I get all Im planning to do on Sunday done, then I wont stress as much towards the end of the project like I have been recently...
lets just see if I can make myself go on Sunday. -_-
---
me: random: apparently my lolita style is punk o0
them: ?
them: no
them: its not

....there are so many different parts to my personality and yeah, most of the time I feel like I can be myself more here at SCAD but there are still people who sometimes seem to deny that there could be more to me than what they see most of the time.
Dont pierce your eyebrow (or whatever else). Dont get a tatoo. Dont dye your hair. Dont BLAH BLAH BLAH.
Youd think at this point in my life Id just ignore what people say and most of the time I do...but lately its been hard to just blow it off. Really hard. Maybe Im worried that if I show too much variation in my personality people will get confused or think Im a phonie and not like me anymore.
Which is dumb and I need to not care because the people worth keeping around will accept me regardless of how I act.
Im silly, Im serious, Im perverted, Im naive, I like attention, Im shy, Im a sexual being, Im intimate, Im passionte, Im lazy, Im cutesy, Im a little bit of a 'punk', Im a hippy, Im an environmentalist, Im a vegetarian, Im an otaku, Im an aspiring artist, Im not a prude, Im easily embarassed, I dont like labels, I love women, I love men, I love trying new things, Im scared of change, I really like some mainstream music, I really like older/non mainstream music, Im sensitive, Im a feminist, Im insecure, Im getting to know myself still.
Maybe it all seems like a contradiction but I know a lot of people can understand what Im talking about. <3 Hopefully someday soon Ill be able to celebrate who Im discovering to be me.
---
I dont particularly care for this song by itself, but I have been finding that this video is completely hypnotizing. At first I thought it was dumb and not very well done...and then I watched it a few more times.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8mVEGfH4s5g


Its SO incredibly sexy.
Ive never really thought much about Beyonce one way or another, but they do an amazing job of making her irrisistable in this video, as well as her backup dancers. The dancing itself is amazingly sexy, but on top of that theyre all shiney and not wearing much and wearing heels...its all very strategic.
But DAMN, they got my full attention.
---
I feel like having a dance party.

Oops!
7 days ago... April 15th, was my 5 year anniversary with this Livejournal.
Awwwwwwwwwwwww.
So much has changed in 5 years. I dont know that I ever imagined myself the way I am now when I first started this.
I think at that point if I had been asked what I tought Id be like in 5 years, Id have said Id still be with Emerson, Id be a sophomore in college getting my degree in music somewhere up north like in Vermont, Id have long hair and Id be taller. Id still be playing the guitar and Id be really good.

Instead, Im with Scott (2 and 1/2 years coming up! Holy crap!!), Im a freshman in college instead of a sophomore cause I took a year off, Im getting my degree in sequential art in GEORGIA of all places, I dont play guitar much anymore (although since I played over spring break Ive been wanting to again) Ive worked in fast food, Im bisexual (never would have thought that of myself 5 years ago), and all of my friendships are different now, too.

So much has changed, and I know it will continue to. Its really nice to be able to look back and remember what life has been like over the past 5 years.
---
My classes are going well for the most part.
Art history is AMAZING- Im fininding that I have a lot in common with my professor and we have amazing discussions and Im really lucky to have gotten into that class.
Storyboarding is exciting. Im loving the feeling of doing something related to my major--and I cant wait to take into to sequential next quarter!!! ><
3D=death. My professor is SO nice, dont get me wrong but I am 3D chanllenged. Severely challenged. *sigh* We are halfway thru the quarter now, and I have to keep reminding myself that not much time is left in that class. Augh.

Being halfway thru the quarter freaks me out, tho. Where did my freshman year of college go?? Im so happy to be here, doing what Im doing. I dont ever want to graduate. Ill just stay here and learn and not ever have to worry about real life.... heh heh heh.
T_T
Ive been thinking a lot about life after school-- and I keep talking to people about where it would be ideal to live and the general concensus seems to be California.
Woah.
I never thought of myself out there, but I know its something I need to consider because the american manga industries are in CA. Its something Im going to really need to put a lot of thought into.
*shiver*
Scott IS coming here next year, officially. So Im really excited for that. I think theres a part of me that is still like "dont get your hopes up. It may not happen" cause Ive been thinking like that for so long. Its hard to imagine but its exciting ^^
---
I have to go work on 3D ;A;
but I hope everyone is doing well <3
Happy Earth Day

TO DO:
>>storyboarding thumbnails (total of 150)
>>3D reading
>>"self describing" pictures
>>type up critique notes for 3D
>>buy chip board
>>get laserjet paper or cardstock

Busybusybusy weekend.


I realize Ive been really bad about blogging lately, I just havent had much to say. My classes are great for the most part- art history is fantastic, my professor has a lot in common with me and 3D sucks but the professor is nice and storyboarding is cool.
Yaaaaaaaaaay.
Blahh Im so boring

Woooooooooooooooo back in Savannah.
Break went by SO FAST. o0 It was really nice tho, I definitely needed some down time.
---
Momocon was a really good time. Im glad I went. I got to know Chase and Sam and Kiel a lot better and it wasnt really stressful or anything- overall a really good weekend. There was a bunch to do and I didnt feel like I had to stay the whole entire day to have fun ^^ I got some really cute stuff too.
So yeah. Going was definitely a good thing- even if it did make my break shorter.

Break was good. I got to see some people and I got to see my parents and being back at my house was really nice. I wish it had been a little bit longer...but Im actually feeling a lot better right now then I thought I would. So thats a good thing.

Also I changed my schedule again. Hahaha!
So NOW...it's:
Monday: 11-1:30pm Survey of Western Art II, Rosenberg
Tuesday: 11-1:30pm 3D design, Williams
5-7:30pm Drawing for Storyboarding, Phillips
Wednesday: 11-1:30pm Survey of Western Art II, Rosenberg
Thursday: 11-1:30pm 3D design, Williams
5-7:30pm Drawing for Storyboarding, Phillips

I didnt really want to take a 5pm class...cause that would delay the start of my weekend but maybe it will be better than having an 8am. Hopefully. Everyone else seems like they have a 5pm on Mondays and Wednesdays T_T *left out* LOL. Oh well. At least I have at least one person I know in each class.
....Hi April!! *waves*
Im pretty nervous about 3D. I cant really draw...and creating real life things is often even harder for me! But I am looking forward to my storyboarding class. Hopefully it will go well and I will learn things... though I kinda wish I was taking life drawing now that I think about it because then I would supposedly be better at drawing so then my storyboards would suck major ass. >< Blah. We'll see.
---
My friend Sam is leaving SCAD in a few days. It makes me really really sad. Ive really gotten close with her and I really dont like the thought of not really seeing her anymore. She said she doesnt want to lose contact with me and I feel the same way but sometimes I worry cause these things happen. Im really gonna miss her. I want her to do what is best for her and what makes her happiest...I just thought we would at least have the rest of the quarter to hang out- but that was abruptly changed this morning with a phonecall from her parents. Ima miss her. ;_;
---
I have had cosplay on the brain in the worst way lately.
I really want to do a Chi cosplay (from Chobits)but Im worried about pulling it off and its also gonna be pretty expensive. But I really want to do it and I keep coming up with other ones I want to do! ><
I also keep coming up with things I want really badly- but I have to remember that money is particularly tight right now and so I am just putting it all in a list. *sigh* not wanting things would make life easier.

( Personality Test )

Hope everyone is well! <3

HURRAY I AM DONE WITH FINALSSSS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! YAAAAAAAA!!!!!

I dont know how I did on any of them- but Im hoping I did well.
Im gonna be pretty upset if I get ALL Bs this quarter T_T Oy.
My critiques today were both pretty...ugh.

My first one, theres this kid in my drawing class that I just CANT STAND and he started the critiquing of my piece. It was basically like "I wish that there wasnt this white space...and there are boxes on the page...." he didnt get it and he didnt say anything nice about it. Neither did anyone else...except Courtney who stood up for me which was really nice.

In color theory the guy who started out with critiquing my piece was really nice and he said some nice things that made me feel really happy and then other people had a go at it with a lot of "I wish you had..."s.

So I dont feel too great about either of them- but here's hoping for good grades!!
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H'okay. So.
Going to momocon. Im really trying to get pumped about it.
Its not like Im completely unexcited but I AM really tired because I didnt get much sleep last night so Im feeling all sleepy and like I want to go home. BUT- I dont get to go home until Monday >< .
I was telling Samuel that I was feeling a little unsure about it and I thought he might be like "Oh dont worry. Itll be lotsa fun! You'll see"
but instead he was like "....well its not to late for you not to go."
Uhm...well, ya it kinda is cause itd be way too expensive to change my flight now, soooo..... Yuck.
Still trying to decide if I want to do cosplay and lolita.
What do you guys think?
I just dont wanna be the odd one out of the group...

It was 82 degrees here today.
o0
What a contrast to NH-- my dad told me he snow blowed today. hehe.
I did a bunch more more today. How is it all going to get done?? I just dont know.
I DO know tho that neither of my room mates have any finals left (WTF??????????) and its really not awesome when they talk about how awesome it is to not have anything to do on their finals.
Thanks guys. That makes me feel FANTASTIC. Thank you SOOOOOOOOO MUCH. YAY.
Makes me feel like crap.
w00t.
SO MUCH TO DO. NEVER GONNA GET IT ALL DONE.

Actually its really weird because there were several times today where I was like "pssshhht- I can TOTALLY get this all done. No prob. Ya!"
and then randomly the doom and gloom would onset and I would want to die.
So its been a very topsy turvy day.
LIST TIEM:

-finish art history flashcards
-study (go to study session tomorrow at 5????)
-finish drawing II final (including finish toning and coloring in me) OHGOD.
-ink color theory project (no black ink ;_; )
-color in color theory project
-get binder organized/all projects together (ask about details)

Ohhhhhh boy. This is gonna be SOOO much fun (....??)

~~~also I have been seriously doing nude modeling just as something over the summer while I work another job or two. Im not entirely sure how I feel about it yet- but its something to definitely consider. I think Id only want to for like, a college class or something along those lines.
Not the kind of "nude modeling" that this guy is talking about tho.
I dont think thats what its called...



http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2myda42Isss
(the ending kills me every time XD)

Ok. Ok ok ok ok okokokokokokokokokokokok.

SO MUCH WORK WAS DONE TODAY.
>>I got all my inking done on my drawing project so I have to color me and tone everything else with charcoal.
>>And I drew out the ENTIRE comic for my color theory project. Yikes. That was draining.
I am mostly happy with how it turned out though. I did the best I could on it which isnt really even up to par with some other peoples' not really trying but Im not gonna think about that right now.
Im gonna think about how I ALSO
>>got my art history flashcards done (all of them that i can do which is most of them-- we are taking notes for the other things we need to know tomorrow!!)
SO MUCH WORK GOT DONE.
And there is plenty left to do...but NOT as much as there was at the beginning of the day so...
TAKE THAT FINALS.

*head falls off*

Yikes. What a day. Daylight savings is really messing with me which doesnt help the messing with me that finals is also doing. Im a mess!!
oh and I wish I could take credit for this but alas-- someone else did it:

Nanerpuss log, Day 1
Found funny vid on youtube superbowl commercial called "Nanerpuss"

Day 4
Been watching Nanerpuss 5 times a day, everyday since discovery. Strange, I crave pancakes with a fire like never before experienced.

Day 9
Increased daily dosage of vid to 20. Told possible future employer that "they could call me nanerpuss". Have not heard back from since.

Day 14
Unemployed. Girlfriend left me for referring to nethers as her "nanerpuss" for fith time.

daY ?
NAneRpUSs gOD fUCk